[PUBLIC] THINGS THAT WILL NOT BE TOLERATED

[karmauberalles]

I honestly couldn't care less what all of you do on your own time, so long as your actions have no bearing on me. However, if any of these actions are performed in my presence, I will punish the instigator as I see fit, and I reserve the right to add to this list if things come up.

1. There shall be no sexual intercourse on deck.

2. The cook is not permitted to make bacon, nor is he allowed to touch the lettuce or the tomatoes.

3. Must I repeat that the alligators will be kept out of my office?

4. I have an intense dislike of swimming; ergo, don't pester me to accompany you.

5. Whitewash is not permitted on board.
5.5. Do not ask about the circumstances behind rule 5.

6. Magical abilities may only be used in battle or for practical jobs.



7. No public drunkenness.

8. No public nudity. I suppose I expected you all to have enough common sense to avoid this, but it appears I was proven wrong.

9. No baseball on deck.

10. ...Hawthorne is permitted to make bacon and to make use of the lettuce and tomatoes until I find reason to prevent her from doing so. Jeagerjaques, however, is still banned from using them.

Comments

[inconsciently.livejournal.com]

No BLTs then!

You don't like the alligators? I think they're a lot of fun.

People... swim? Really? Isn't that dangerous?

[karmauberalles.livejournal.com]

No BLTs from the cook, as the sorry excuses for sandwiches that he makes are unfit even for the alligators. I'm not stopping you from making your own.

No, I do not like the alligators, especially when I happen to find one of them underneath my desk.

It's generally safe if it's done in a swimming pool, or something, but the potential for drowning and fatal injuries still exists, although it's far too small.

[inconsciently.livejournal.com]

Ha ha ok!


But they're really nice! Did you know their underbellies are soft?

I've never heard of a swimming pool.. I wouldn't know how to swim anyway.

[karmauberalles.livejournal.com]

Yes, I did. Unfortunately, I cannot use that to my advantage I would rather not risk a foot every time I attempted to get my paperwork done.

Good. Stay away from anyone who offers to show you what one is, especially if that person happens to be wearing a ridiculous orange suit.

[inconsciently.livejournal.com]

I didn't know they were so bitey. They usually avoid me for some reason! Can't figure out why.

.. Ok!

[struck out SO HARD]

[dahliahasthorns.livejournal.com]

Officer Gant..?!

[egoisms.livejournal.com]

Hrm.

Perhaps these should be posted somewhere, sir?

Also, I apologize if my alligators have found their way into your office again. They seem to enjoy your company for reasons unknown.

[karmauberalles.livejournal.com]

I find the electronic version to be much more convenient, and I presume that everyone uses it anyway.

...bah. Keep them out, as I would rather not have to resort to sprays. I hear they're rather messy.

[egoisms.livejournal.com]

Mmn. I suppose.~

....You wouldn't get that far Yes, sir.

[karmauberalles.livejournal.com]

...

did you just tilde at me I'm glad we've reached an understanding.

[starsundersky.livejournal.com]

Sir, may I assume my sixth sense would fall under an ability that is allowed? It's very useful for my job. And it's not something I can turn off.

[karmauberalles.livejournal.com]

I don't see any way that it would cause any sort of chaos, so yes.

[starsundersky.livejournal.com]

Thank you, sir. I'd prefer all chaos to be reserved for our opponents, whoever they may be.

[karmauberalles.livejournal.com]

Hmph. I have no doubt in my mind that any opponent we face will be easily dealt with.

[starsundersky.livejournal.com]

The alternative isn't worth considering.

[karmauberalles.livejournal.com]

Of course not.

[dahliahasthorns.livejournal.com]

As you wish, Grand Admiral!